WELLLLL life is surely teaching me intresting stuff. Its intersting how so much of my persona is made up of what other people think of me. (i try not to think about other people.) Alot of my cofidence is based on other peoples approval. and I realised how messed up that is. I allways knew i was messed up but this is a new and wonderfull facet of it. WONDERFUL.
I also have discoverd to my confusion that despite the fact I really like peacefullness,(non aggresion, gentlenness, etc, etc)
I relate in nature to eagles out of all the birds, and stangler figs out of the plant world. im frightend that this reflects on my nature. birds of prey and trees that slowly kill other trees. And say if i was turned into an animal it would proabably be something small and fluffy. and squishy. and eateable. thus my confusion. but damn do I love those trees! im going to do some sketches.

I wanna know. does anynoe else like peacefulness etc, and get totally exctied when u see some bird rip the guts out of some pore defencless creature? full well knowing if u were part of that food chain u would be one with no guts?

or is it just me. uh might be me.